Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Young & Restless Meet the Old & Curious

One of the best things about being single is that it leaves you completely unencumbered socially. Without having to worry about whether or not (insert name of significant other) will like your new friends, or vice versa, you are free to mingle with whichever crowd you please.

Lately I’ve found myself adopted by a group of 20-somethings. It has been so much fun hanging out with these young men and women and, to some extent, recapturing the life I missed out on when I was their age. I always felt like I never got to experience the care-free life of a 20-something who is just out of college, because I went on to Dental School. I spent the next four years after college studying in the Dental School Library or in the Dental Lab making crowns or dentures for my patients. By the time I had graduated, most of my friends had moved on from the bar scene and were settling down. I realize that by staying focused and continuing to work during that time, I was able to secure a valuable education and future for myself—but I’ve always been more than a little envious of those who were able to play while I had to study.

I’ve learned a few things from hanging out with my new friends. First of all, do NOT take close-up pictures with them. The first time I saw a picture of myself with two of my friends, I was shocked. I looked like Dina Lohan with her daughters Lindsay and Ali. As great as you may look, when you’re standing beside a 20-something, you will suffer by comparison. Make sure the photographer is at least 6 feet away from you.

The other thing that shocked me is how much sex they are all having. I remember back in college, there was sex. Girls would sleep their way through a fraternity house, or certain guys would always come back to the dorm on a Sunday morning with stories of a virgin they had conquered—but nothing like this. Open relationships, three-ways, and orgies are all par for the course! Even the lines of sexual orientation seem blurry these days.

I’m certain that a cultural anthropologist would point to advances in AIDS treatments, decreasing social stigmas around sexuality, and increased drug use as causes. Personally, I just think it’s a factor of being young, cute & horny. These people are all over each other. Thus far, I haven’t been invited to participate, but I’m wondering how I will handle it if I am. I’ve done my share of experimenting, but always in controlled environments. The two times I personally tried an orgy have been when I was out-of-town and the participants were essentially strangers I knew I would never see again. I can’t imagine how it would work with people I see on a daily basis. How to you go back to discussing the new Britney Spears cd after teabagging with someone? I also don’t want to be the creepy 40-year old predator hanging around waiting to pounce on a drunk and vulnerable younger victim. I can’t help thinking that one of the reasons these young folks let me hang out with them is because I don’t give off that sexual predator vibe.


The flip-side of all this is that I am not some hunch-back just down from the bell tower. I’m no supermodel, but I’m not exactly chopped liver either. I am a little indignant that I haven’t been invited to participate in some capacity. I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t know what I will do if one of my new 20-something friends invites me into his bedroom. But I still think it would be nice to be asked.