I have never appreciated a pair of shoes as much as I did today when I put on my cross-trainers. This past weekend was the annual Halloween celebration, and per tradition I went in drag. I don’t mind the wig, make up, and clothes-- but women’s shoes suck. A lesbian friend of mine told me once that women’s shoes were a joke played by gay men on straight women for the benefit of straight men. I don’t think I fully understood what she meant until I put a pair of heels on for myself. It’s amazing how something so pleasing to the male eye can be so displeasing to the female (or male!) foot. The irony is that now some gay men will have to wear these same shoes if they want to be effective drag queens. Karma is a bitch with sore feet.
The costume itself turned out pretty well. I went as Batwoman. The original Batwoman was created by DC Comics in the 1950’s to quell rumors that Batman and Robin were lovers. By the 1970’s, DC apparently felt that the Dynamic Duo’s heterosexuality had been established, so they killed her off (another straight woman sacrificed once she’d outlived her usefulness to straight men—I guess her high heeled boots weren’t punishment enough).
I was striving for the look of the contemporary Batwoman—black leather pants, long red hair, black cape—but even with these accoutrements the costume had a campy 1960’s feel to it (perhaps because I was a 41 year old man dressing as a 28 year old superheroine!). No worries, though. When you stand 6’10” in heels nobody is going to laugh in your face. And even though most people weren’t familiar with the character, I somehow felt that if Batwoman were out there, she would’ve appreciated the homage. Just as I now appreciate the difficulty of battling crime in uncomfortable shoes.
*If you’re really curious to see the pictures, they are at www.myspace.com/branchula under the “my pics” section.
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