Old Maid

This week was my god-daughter’s 4th birthday. I wasn’t sure what to get her until I stumbled across a deck of “Old Maid” cards at the gift shop. I remember loving that game. The package said ‘3+ years’ so I went ahead a bought it. It didn’t hold my god-daughter’s attention for very long (I was competing with a Strawberry Shortcake scooter and stuffed animals, so I didn’t take it too personally), but I was fascinated once I started poring through the deck. There was no longer a picture of a sad looking spinster on the “Old Maid” card! Instead it was a group shot of all the characters, and the words “Old Maid” written across the top. WTF????

I’m guessing that in these politically correct times, it just wasn’t acceptable to show an unmarried woman on the loser card. But speaking as a single individual of a certain age, I can’t say I was ever really offended. First of all, it’s a children’s card game—get over it! Secondly, I don’t think I ever identified with the grey haired woman in the Victorian gown that I remember seeing on the Old Maid card.

In my “Old Maid” deck, I’d put a much different woman on the solo card. First of all, she’d look terrific. She doesn’t have children waking her up at night and running her ragged during the day. She also has reams of disposable income, since there are no colleges to pay for, no day care, etc. This cash reserve is used to buy a kickin’ wardrobe, highlights for her hair, and a swanky uptown condo. She would be wearing unusual jewelry purchased on one of her many trips to exotic lands. My Old Maid would be of an indeterminate age—she’s had work done! And her social calendar would be filled with dinner parties, concerts, and (if she’s so inclined) the occasional date. She’d be laughing and toasting the great life that she built single-handedly.

When playing with my “Old Maid” deck, the person holding the “Old Maid” card may have lost, but the woman on the card is still in the game!