Sex & the Single Blogger

I had a date this week! Technically it was a first date, but there is some history I should explain. I met this gentleman at a party a few nights ago through some mutual friends. This is always a good way to meet a romantic prospect, because if you have friends in common most likely the gentleman is not a serial killer. Anyway, we hit it off at the party, had a few drinks and then he ended up spending the night at my place. The next day I drove him home, and we traded phone numbers. We traded a few text messages during the week, and tonight we had our first date.

This is not the way they explained dating in Phys Ed class back in middle school, nor do I think Emily Post or Miss Manners would approve, but for me it is a good system. I don't pursue all relationships in this manner, nor am I recommending it to others. I am simply saying the few times it has worked out this way it takes some of the pressure off. Again, I hold my overactive brain accountable. Dating in the traditional manner is very stressful psychologically (for me, at least). Being gay I get the double whammy of having the traditional male nagging questions and the traditional female nagging questions. On the male side we have:
“When should I make a move?”
“Do I stop with just a kiss, or should I go for more?”
“If I go for more, will he think I’m a horn-dog?”
“If I don’t go for more, will he think I’m straight?”

On the female side we have:
"How provocatively can I dress without looking slutty?"
"If I go all the way does that make me easy?”
“If I don’t go all the way does that make me a tease?”

I find myself unable to enjoy the first date and pay attention to the conversation because all of these questions are running through my head.

If you’ve already had sex with the person--suddenly you’re relieved of all these persistent doubts. You know the sex was decent enough for both parties to return for a second encounter. Now all you have to do is figure out if there’s enough there to build a relationship upon. Even then, the pressure is off. If you hit it off with the person--that’s fabulous! You now have a boyfriend. If you don’t--you can go your separate ways if you like, or perhaps just keep them on speed dial as a potential boink buddy.

I’m happy to say the first date went very well. A second date has been scheduled, and we'll take it from there. Now the only nagging question on my mind is, if this works out in the long-term, which day do I use to calculate our anniversaries????