The Ball Pass

I just heard from a friend of mine who was returning from a vacation in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He had a splendid time, but was a tad disappointed over one incident. He was out with his boyfriend and ran into a favorite celebrity—Matthew Rush, the renowned porn star. He got up the courage to talk to Mr. Rush, but his boyfriend became quite threatened and my friend was forced to leave before asking to take a picture with his idol. I don’t know Mr. Rush, but I was devastated for my friend. He’ll never get that opportunity again. And for his boyfriend to be that threatened over a simple photograph cannot be a good sign. A good partner should be able to tolerate a lot more than a photograph with a celebrity.

Personally, I believe every relationship should have Ball Passes. These would work like the Hall Passes we used to get in school. A Hall Pass gave you the opportunity to wander the halls during regularly scheduled class time. The Ball Pass would give you the opportunity to wander outside your monogamous relationship. It’s not a free pass to sleep around, however. As with the Hall Pass, it would only be issued under the most unusual of circumstances. Frankly, I think one Ball Pass per person per relationship is plenty. That way, if you happen to meet a celebrity and the chance arises to have sex with that celebrity—you can do so without damaging your primary relationship.

If the man I was dating had the chance to go to bed with Jake Gyllenhaal—I wouldn’t want to be the one to make him miss out on that opportunity. I’d want him to have it (and hopefully take pictures to show me later!). And if the situation were reversed, I’d want to be able to do the same without worrying about what my partner would think. Can you imagine how you would feel if you missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime because of your partner? And how would you feel if you & your partner broke up, and you had missed out on that opportunity? You could have had a great story to tell for the rest of your life, and now you passed it up for nothing! Why take a chance on building that kind of resentment?

I mentioned this idea to my friend, but I haven’t heard back from him yet. Part of me is wondering, though, if it’s not ideas like this that have kept me single for most of my adult life. Oh well. Better single than resentful.